Tuesday, August 17, 2010


I am a planner by nature.  I like to have everything planned out, if possible, before the school year starts.  I don't do well with last minute spontaneous events.  I have to prepare myself ahead of time to be away from home even for the evening.  I don't know if  it's a "getting older" thing or not, but it is what it is.

The other day I was filling in the calendar with our known activities for the year and had a brief moment of panic as I began to think about all the unknowns.  There are many things that I can plan for----what we will study in school, piano lesson times, field trips, vacations, birthdays, work days, etc, but it's the UNKNOWN events that can unravel me.  With a large family there is always a time of sickness--doctor's visits, time that a child just needs to be in the bed, and interrupted sleep because of needed breathing treatments.  We have had our share of broken bones (only Kaelan, but she has managed to break both arms and is still seeing the orthopedic surgeon bi-annually from her last break 3 years ago), emergency room visits, out-patient surgeries and even an ambulance ride and critical care stay.  It seems that God grants me more grace to get through the more major unknowns as I can remember not being panicked when my child wasn't breathing or when faced with Kaelan's obviously broken bones.  It's the little unknowns that get me frazzled;  that cause me to be irritated and annoyed.  I am a control-freak.

There, I said it.  Some of you probably already knew that. ; )  I am the oldest of four and had a good bit of responsibility put on me as a child.  I am a mom to many who homeschools as well.  I must have control over most things.   It's hard to step back and let others be in control.  It can even be hard to remember that ultimately God is in control.  No matter how many unknowns may be lurking to "shake me up", I need to rest assured that the all-knowing and all-seeing God is not surprised and He will not become unglued;  He will and does reign over all.  So Lord, here I am in the first few weeks of our school year, realizing that I cannot do it all;  I cannot see all that is coming up;  I cannot rest in my own strength;  so I give it all to you.  Your plans are much better than I can ever write;  You know what  each of my children needs to learn for this year;  You know what lessons I need to learn this year;  You have plans for our family that we cannot comprehend.  Please help me to step back and rest in Your plans.

Even now as I am typing here, I receive a phone call that sets me in panic and changes my morning plans.  Lord, calm my heart and set my path to just do the next thing that You have given to us to do.

Proverbs 16:  9  A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.

1 comment:

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